Hit You in the Face
10-23-2001
I saw my ex somewhere, and we had a short, but pleasant conversation, which basically ended with "This is as far as I (her) want this relationship to go this time (friendship)." Then I went to my childhood home and got a call from her on my cell phone. I told her how I just had a dream about having a pleasant conversation with her. She sounded interested, and we proceeded to have another one, but my dad and sister kept barging in on me, and I kept yelling at them to leave...which worried me that I was giving her a bad impression that I hadn't really changed at all.
The house turned out to be a large spaceship, and I decided to get out. I fired up a jet and whooshed around, scaring a spaceborne aircraft carrier and pulling some risky stuff with neighboring spacecraft. Then some weird thing happened where I ended up unprotected in space, and I had to "hold" my breath (as in exhale) and somehow maneuver back into the main craft. I was kinda pissed, and everyone inside was really ashamed about the entire ordeal (that they let it happen and didn't do much to help me).
I went into a bathroom to wash up. At this point, the craft is more than just my house, but an enter school and lots of other stuff. So many people are around. The guy from Love Lines is there, and he hears me complain a little bit about my love situation. I go into an auditorium and sit down, and he's the host. He points at me to take the stand. I politely refuse, but he cajoles me into doing it. I first make sure my ex wasn't in the audience, though, and I'm determined not to answer any questions of sexual nature.
The audience...all students, some of which I know...ask questions. The host chooses who gets to ask it, though. The first question is "What do you do?" I answer, "What do I do...for a LIVING? I'm a Software Engineer." The kid's gets this face like, "Ouch". Some other kid pops up, "That's why he said for a 'living'". And the other is like, "I know, and that's when I say 'ouch'". I pipe in with "And that's when I hit you in the face." Everybody cheers. They ask me a bunch of questions, all trivial, disjointed, and nothing to do with my ex.
We all leave, but in a hurry. We've somehow ended up being rounded by some bandits in the building. I'm kind of running, and I see a large open room. Wondering why noone's there (it looked safe enough), I go for it. Others follow me. I see expressions of fear on other people's faces...those who saw us run that way. I figure out it's some kind of trap. A laser comes from down the hall and takes off a kid's head. I take cover behind an unsturdy, wooden fence-like door (this place is outside all of a sudden). Shitloads of lasers pour down the hallway, tearing tons of people around me apart. Only I survive. Finally, people in desert garb rush down the hall to come after the pieces. I vault the fence into some other hallway. They lob shit at me but I'm too fast. I barge into a room full of them and bolt out again. Through some sort of juke, I manage to close them into a room with some kind of nerve gas. After they're taken out, I lead a bunch more people through the room to a staircase. I bound down several flights of stairs until we get to the car garage. I kick a door open that leads outside. Some Asian guy tries to get me to go with him toward some bushes. I refuse, and as he does, I see snipers heading toward him. He doesn't last but a few seconds. I run back toward the garage.
posted by Phlegm at 11/26/2003
