The half-forgotten
Other half of my short life
In short story form

 
Like This Piece of Trash
1-02-1997

Ok, I find a little girl who hates her mom. I tell her that if I ever pull up in a car that she can run away with me. I end up in some sort of warehouse on the docks, alone. Suddenly all these thugs of all shapes and colors surround me, coming out from behind boxes, etc. There's even a cop there. I plead him for help, but he just laughs as he pulls out this chrome white machinegun from nowhere. I notice three of my friends in the crowd, however. One of them is an athletic black kid in a basketball outfit, another is my real life friend Dan from Flint, and I don't remember the last guy. Somehow some confusion is started and the cop and I end up struggling for the machinegun. I yank it from his hands with a "Gimme the fucking gun, man!" and then, as it's already ready to fire (the reason the cop didn't struggle harder...it was pointing at him), I strafe the room. Everyone turns their backs, ducks down, runs around, etc, but I shoot all the bastards (the cop, too), in the chests, back, everywhere, miraculously missing my companions. But...what the hell...none of them died! They just have a bunch of pesky flesh wounds! They all open fire on me...I duck behind some stuff, uselessly shoot some more guys, and then run out of ammo. The gun merely shoots air. Dan's right next to me..."Dan, I'm outta ammo...we're screwed." He responds, "I think I saw some around here somewhere, follow me." We leap into another room, a hardware-type room, and raid the shelves. I randomly find about 5 BBs (you know, for BB guns), and nervously load the gun with them, thinking "No wonder they're still alive, this is a freakin' BB gun!" The machinegun at this point magically turns into a hand-held pocket-knife-size gun. We run out of the warehouse and onto the docks, a few guys hot on our trails.

We split up. I've already had several narrow escapes from these guys...they seem to want to capture me first. I think about Scott G and his fascination with being chased (yes, he really does like to be chased in real life...we have actually provoked people and been chased by them by car in the past...years ago...and he loved it). I find a bunch of small, sharp objects in my hand...shrapnel. I juke some guy out, and when he comes up behind me, I throw it into his face, pissing him off bigtime. Some other white guy with long blond hair chases me...I slide down a ramp and make it into my car in hopes of escape, even though he has a gun on me. For some reason I put it into reverse first. I put it into drive, thinking about how bad the transmission is and how it'll take a couple vital seconds for the gear to kick in, and how in that vital time the guy could shoot me through the glass. Instead a bunch of black smoke billows from the hood. "Shit! Of all the times...why now?!?" The guy's like, "Get out of the car or I kill you here." I respond, "Ok, just lemme see if the car WOULD have worked...I just wanna test sometime." He goes, "Ok, but then get out of the car." So the smoke clears and kicks into drive, and I floor it...to no avail...the tires just squeal...I can't get up the ramp. I look at the guy like, "Um...heh."

At some point I end up back at the little girl's place. She's waiting in the driveway and has her bags packed. I don't have much time...people are still chasing me. I think about taking her like I said I would, but then also that I'd be charged with kidnapping if I got caught with her. I leave her there.

Next thing I know, I'm with my 3 companion guys. We're still on the run, heading for a bus stop not unlike the one at the bottom of the hill on North Campus. I exclaim that we're doomed unless the next bus comes in about 5 seconds. Just then an "Anywhere North" (doesn't exist) bus comes outta nowhere and then passes right by! I chase it for a second...it slows down, then proceeds onward up the hill. Then the black guy decides to leave and walk up the hill by himself to the dorm. I stop him, put my hand on his shoulder, and say, "Hey, I know we had some rough moments back there, but you're ok. Take it easy." I remember fighting with him a lot throughout the dream, but I can't remember any particulars of it. Then the cops call me and I'm questioned by phone. Apparently they've already questioned the black guy, and he gave them a very convincing story. Somehow I manage to go along with it, but at length it's like the cop on the other end is bored, because it's then me asking, "Is that all? Hello?" with a response like, "Just a second..." And then more of me inquisiting, and then silence. I hang up with a "Well call back if you need me." I get in contact with Dan and the other guy, and I guess they were just allowed to go home without questioning.

So I leave the dorm and start walking in the nice packing snow. There's a small hill and I slide down it. Thinking it was fun, I climb back up, out of breath, and do it again. And again. Two friends of mine see me and cheer me on. I do it again, but head first this time. Whee! Then I keep walking. I see Chance C and Andrea B walking far ahead (no, they're not still going out). I aim my finger and fake shoot at Andrea...but I hit her...and she goes down. Chance marvels at my aim, and dodges around, but I can't hit him because I'm suddenly lagged. Andrea's fine.

I end up talking with some professor guy, and he rambles on about how long he's been at U of M...the things that have changed, and the things that, and I interrupt, "Haven't changed...like this piece of trash sitting here."

Then some other kid starts talking to me about my music piece, saying he liked it a lot, but that there was one inconsistency in it, and that was its attitude towards God. I didn't remember God having anything to do with my piece at all, but nonetheless he took me into a large, dark, studio-type room and starting talking about it.

posted by Phlegm at 11/23/2003