They Were Both Full
07-29-1997
I was in jail with my now ex-roommate and these two other dream-pals of mine, a guy and a girl. We escaped, got captured again, and sat in a jail cell, eating, for a long time. I guess the guy had connections, because by the way the food was laid out on his plate, he somehow made plans for escape. Unfortunately, they didn't want me to escape with them, and so Andrew and I were on our own. My plan was that, once those two were making their clever getaway, Andrew and I would just rumble out, kill anyone who got in our way, and run. In the meantime, before the escape, I played my keyboard. The girl asked what the fucking point was to any of my music, that none of it would ever make a difference (since I'd always be cooped up in here). I just told her it was something to do.
When the time came, some other prisoner held me at gunpoint to my cell, not allowing me to escape! The guy and the girl got away, and I bitterly got back into the routine. I somehow happened to be cleaning a tunnel of trash that, for some reason, led outside. I was naked, but I jumped out of the tunnel and ran through the night (of course it's night), down the road, along the bushes. Andrew never made it out. I ran to a golf course towards my haven...a place that the four of us had evidently met at all the time in the past. A lagoon of sorts. I made it there, in the dark, not hitting any trees or tripping or anything, and kind of swam into the strange, dark, mucky, yet clean water. I found a note which I immediately knew was from that guy to me...just a torn piece of notebook paper with the number 24 crossed out and the number 27 rewritten below it. I just "knew" that it meant he would allow me to stay there for 27 hours before I had to leave. I swam around a bit, kinda paranoid, slowly realizing the security of the place. It was somehow obscured from the rest of the world, even if not far from the highway or even the fairway of the golf course.
Then they arrived, wading into the water. We acknowledged each other. I went under and watched the girl's legs and ass as she moved....she was hot, but taken. They often are. We kinda just hung out there for days, in spite of the note, watching people play golf. Once a bunch of people got too close to us, so to cover, I approached, acting like a tour guide. I magically had my keyboard back, and I played it, inspiring some silly song and dance to shuffle the people along, away from our haven.
Eventually, some middle-aged Chinese guy pulled up in a van and picked us up. We drove a while, but soon realized that the manhunt was still on, and every road was blocked. We decided to walk instead. Still nighttime. Some cops walked by, but since I had the ninja Art of Disguise, they inherently didn't recognize any of us. The Chinese guy pulled out a compact, high-tech, machine-gun-type thing and pointed it at me. I thought he was gonna blow me away, so I ran. He chased me a bit before I confronted him. He only wanted to give it to me and then leave them all the Hell alone. So I took it. Some buses were coming. A Democrat bus and a Republican bus (don't ask me). The sides of each one opened to reveal a bunch of football players. I thought I might be able to hitch on to pass the border, but they were both full.
posted by Phlegm at 11/23/2003
