The half-forgotten
Other half of my short life
In short story form

 
What the Hell?
11-10-1998

Something about a hummer-like vehicle, getting it stuck, grabbing belongings from it. Hmm. Then I was planning on moving to some foreign country for a few months, someplace that doesn't really exist...a combination of country names, but I don't remember what. A Scandinavian-sounding place. For some reason the process of getting there was illegal, yet everyone was rushing to do it, like a race...maybe only a few people could go at a time, and you weren't allowed to prepare to go until a certain moment. Anyway, I'm in this huge hangar or garage with a bunch of people and we jump into a van, start screaming down the road, which is more like a sidewalk. Hmm...Matt G comes to mind as one of the people, as do some people from church, like Heather and Rebecca H, and Eric what's-his-name. Anyway, we start screaming away, but not everyone is onboard, and I'm like, "Aren't we going to WAIT for everyone?" But I guess there's no time to lose. I spot some other guys, legs hanging out of a car window and it pulls away...everybody's in a rush! Couple big guys running at vehicles as if to chase them down, like we're all doing something wrong.

There's a lot of sewer drainage, and these "gutter punks" (no pun intended at the time I so-named them in the dream) had these snowboard-like things that rode the sewage, merely keeping up with us. "Those gutter-punks move pretty fast," I commented to Mike Mc, who was driving. Then Rick C said, "Yeah but I would never travel like that -- might get botchalism (sp) or some shit." "Yeah..."

We stopped in front of a stretch of townhouses. I raced inside to grab some things I would need for a few months -- some socks, underwear, a couple shirts, about 5 CDs -- then wondered if I should tell my parents, who were at a fancy banquet.

I got outside, and the van was gone, so I started running down the street. I caught up with some other vehicle-less people, and we ran as a group, pushing pedestrians aside, and doing brief to-the-point battle with those who meant to stop us. Next thing I know, a sloppy, mucky green baseball cap lands in front of me, and a hat-less person in front of me feels his head and runs for it. I realize that could only have been achieved by this other guy, so I picked up the hat and tossed it to a guy behind me. He kept throwing his hat and "disarming" the hats of those who got in our way. I figured I could do that, too, so I found a hat of my own and did the same, throwing it back-handed and pelting people in the face, the hat magically returning every time.

We got to an intersection, and my parents came out of a building, all dressed up. "Fuck," I thought to myself, "I can't leave TODAY, I have to chaperone this banquet thing." Some other guy was in the same boat as me, and agreed he wouldn't be leaving today, either. That gave me SOME comfort.

Anyhow, we still had some time, and there was only a block to go before we made it to the plane. I walked, and saw the H girls in a station wagon at a gas station, wondering what the hell they were dabbling around for.

I entered a Chinese food store with some Jim Belushi-remindin' guy, and went to the back room, which opened up into an entire dark, skylit city complex. I did that bit with the black guy I mentioned earlier, then ran into an alley, thinking I would arrive back at the Chinese place to ask the owner what the hell was going on, what deal was he trying to pull anyway? However, I ended up getting involved with some redneck-like guys in a pickup truck who were hunting some renegade down. We followed him into a back-alley bathroom. They bolted for the stalls to look for him, and I decided to take a piss. A very attractive woman came out of a stall, but wouldn't pass by me. I knew that she wouldn't pass me as long as I was there taking a piss, and I figured it was the "guy" we were after, in a different form. I finished, however, and couldn't fake it anymore. She left, I followed, everyone else was confused, and left as well.

Outside, I grabbed the woman forcefully. She said nothing, but kinda wrapped her leg around my body. She was struggling, though. The guys, who'd gotten back into their truck, pulled over and asked her if she was ok. I'm like, "Well she's not SAYING anything, so she must be consenting!" That somewhat satisfied their query, and they drove off.

Then the woman lightened up, embraced me, and said that was pretty fun. I asked her why she resisted like that, and she said, "to make things more exciting." Hey, that's fine. We made out or something in the middle of the street for a bit. Don't remember. Then I found myself at the snow bank as I mentioned earlier. Ok, so I pelted a girl in the leg with an orange-sized snowball, then turned my head as if I didn't do it. The girls threw some back, and I'm like, "Hey, what the hell?" Some exchange I don't quite remember.


posted by Phlegm at 11/24/2003